1/27/15

January 27, 2015 in Lymphoma by Reta Reed

So… life is good. I’ve seen glimpses of it over the past year, the sun peeking through the clouds, but it now feels… good. The sun is out like an August day in Texas and I’m basking in it’s glow.

Work is still going well, thankfully. My employer has rewarded me nicely and I feel appreciated. The stress is manageable.

The kids are healthy and doing well. Travis got braces and had a rough first day or two, but he’s back to his happy, smiling self …until his next appointment in March when he’ll be sore again for a couple days. He’ll soon see the cycle. Kristen is now considering college. She had been pretty set on cosmetology school (she wants to be a make-up/special effects make-up artist), but now wants to check out UT, maybe A&M, probably others – for what, she doesn’t know! She’s got to get really serious about school first if she has any inkling of going to college. Alex will be going to college this fall, if it kills me. The child is immune to any attempts at motivation, but I’m determined.

It’s a blessing not having to worry about home, kids and work. I think this stability in my life has allowed me to open my heart and find love again. I feel alive again. I feel cherished. I feel loved. It’s amazing. He’s amazing. He’s very unique – I guess that’s my “type”. Comparisons to Jeff are inevitable, but they do have quite a bit in common. Maybe that has made things even easier. We’ve only been dating a couple of months, but things look promising. One might advise me to Take it easy. Don’t let him break your heart. You’re still grieving and vulnerable. Well, I don’t want to be in a relationship fearing the worst, waiting for something bad to happen. I’m jumping in headfirst, into the deep end. I would rather give my heart a work-out – pumping fast, full of adrenaline and excitement, even if it gets smashed to smithereens – instead of allowing it to gather dust in the corner, withering and faltering from lack of attention.  I’m tired of being sooo careful. Maybe this comes with age.

The house projects continue, though not as maniacally as before, since I have someone new attracting my attention. I’ll be painting in the master bath soon and replacing the baseboards. Later will come new carpet, countertops, and some bitchin’ fireplace tile after a bit of construction to remove the monstrosity of a plant ledge that abuts the fireplace. …goofy floorplan. What were we thinking?