And back to the hospital. This time Baylor

August 30, 2013 in Lymphoma by Jeffry Reed

I get my blood drawn at least 3x’s a week so they can keep on top of what is going on with my blood.

My platelets are 13,000 and the normal is 150,000. So instead of getting blood drawn, I get it pumped in. Actually I think I’m just getting platelets….I sure hope I feel better after that. I’m really getting tired of this. I want it to end. I now know why people that have been on chemo for a while say they can’t take it anymore during the last couple of treatments. Physically it is exhausting, and that in turns into frustration. Want to jump up and answer the phone? Go to the bathroom? Get food?

It’s a herculean effort at times just to do the dumbest most mundane tasks. I mean how hard can it be standing in a shower rubbing a soapy rag over your body?  Well getting undressed and into the shower takes a ton of effort. With a 50% blood supply, feeling sick, all one can do is pant like a dog and hope you don’t pass out. Then you dread getting out because now you gotta dry off, put your clothes back on, and walk to another room. Man it’s tiring.

And after 5 months of that crap it really really really starts to get old. I have two more scheduled treatments and it could be 4 more if I’m not in remission. I know I’ll get through this but it’s starting to become the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  And the funny thing is, I’m not really doing much of anything but sucking down chemo and bitching about it.

Oh well. I just wanted to write this down so next year I can laugh about it. It’s survivable, but man is it an eye opening experience. I feel horrible for those on chemo. I would swear it’s worse than the cancer itself……I almost forgot about the weight swings. OMG. I have gained and lost 36 lbs back and forth. That is the range. I gained, I kid you not, 22 lbs in 3 days last last time I was in the hospital. I couldn’t bend my knees and the shoes I came in with no longer fit my feet they were so swollen.

I detest, despise, hate, and CANNOT stand steroids. Holy crap those things ……..while they may shrink tumors they make everything else swell like crazy. I’m going to be so fat and plumped up. I look like crap……..I want to be thin and healthy next year. I’d take that over a million dollars because that’s what would make me happy.