Fuckity fuck fuck fuck

September 6, 2013 in Lymphoma by Jeffry Reed

The tumor is bigger.

It is now 11.5 x8 x8 cm

It is no longer responding to chemo. It has grown since the last PET scan.  So no more going to Harris Fort Worth for Chemo and Hyper/CVAD

It’s off to Baylor Dallas or MD Anderson in Houston….Dr. Ommmen’s choice I guess.

To say I’m upset is an understatement. Disappointed, in tears, sad, mad, I’m overwhelmed with emotion right about now.

I don’t know what to say. This tumor is one mean SOB. I don’t want anything to do with it. It’s almost like it’s happening to somebody else. It’s just surreal. I feel like I’m trapped in a bad dream and there is this Dr. who can’t seem to ever give good news. I want to cry and scream at the same time.

I feel like I’ve been put through the damn ringer and I’m so tired of feeling like shit and this is my reward. My tumor saying “fuck you” I’ll just get bigger and put you and your family and friends through more shit. I don’t know why they just can’t cut the goddamned thing out. Believe me I’ve thought about it a time or two myself. Little bit of alcohol and a sharp knife. Couldn’t be any harder then gutting a deer. Guess I get to miss deer season too speaking of deer. Dove season is shot to shit.

So what is the plan besides me doing self surgery? Going to Dallas or Houston and re-establishing tumor shrinkage through chemo and bone marrow transplant.

The plan is to try chemo drugs I have not tried as follows. It’s called RICE of all things.

ICE
regimen 1
Ifosfamide 1000 mg/m2/d iv over 1 h d1-2 (hours 0 and 1)
Etoposide (VP-16) 150 mg/m2/d iv over 11 hrs after ifosfamide d1-2 (hours 1-11)
Carboplatin (Paraplatin) 200 mg/m2/d iv over 1 h after etoposide d1-2 (hours 11-12)
Etoposide (VP-16) 150 mg/m2/d iv over 11 hrs after carboplatin d1-2 (hours 12-24)
Mesna 333 mg/m2 iv 30 minutes before ifosfamide, repeat 4 and 8 hrs after ifosfamide
Q4w x 2 cycles

regimen 2
Ifosfamide 5000 mg/m2 mixed with Mesna 5000 mg/m2 iv over 24 hrs d2
Carboplatin (Paraplatin) AUC 5 (max 800mg) iv d2
Etoposide (VP-16) 100 mg/m2/d iv d1-3
Filgrastim (Neupogen) 5 ug/kg sc qd d5-12
Q2w x 3 cycles

RICE
Rituximab (Rituxan) 375 mg/m2 iv d1 q2w x 3 cycles
ICE regimen 2 as above

 

So that’s all I got for now. I hate sounding like a pussy but the tears are back and I’m fucking pissed and upset.

Update:

Sounds like MD Anderson because they don’t have the new drugs in Dallas.