New meaning

February 26, 2014 in Lymphoma by Reta Reed

Jeff has been on my mind a lot the past few days, or should I say he has come to mind a lot. When I work from home I usually have music playing and have a favorite playlist. Some of those songs have taken on a different interpretation since Jeff’s passing. Those old break-up songs now sound like expressions of the pain/anger/emptiness/sadness/disbelief following the loss of a loved one – my loved one. It’s like almost every song is about Jeff and me at some point in our relationship. And songs about kids growing up really tug at my heart now.

And then I’ll switch to the angry heavy metal music but that tends to remind me of driving to or from Houston (MD Anderson) at some godforsaken hour and just trying to stay awake. Maybe I need to switch to classical music or 80s “bubble-gum” music. Maybe ocean sounds or rain…